Do you think that sounds a little cheesy? Me too, but I’m sticking with it for a whole year.
Most people think I’m kind, but that is because they haven’t heard my inner critic. So my focus for 2023 is to practice genuine self-compassion and rewrite my story, chapter by chapter.
What will this look like? I’m not 100% sure, but let’s start with something simple.
I am Clumsy
Ever break something? Tip a glass over? Fall up stairs? Yeah, me too. What is interesting is the difference between my reaction when this happens to someone else and when it happens to me.
When I hear a crash in the kitchen, I spring into action: “You ok?” I ask as I grab the broom, mop or towel (paper towel for glass fragments). I barely give thought to what broke, or how, but more to comfort the person standing in the middle of the, sometimes dangerous, debris by getting things cleaned up.
When I break something, I am immediately filled with frustration and disgust:
“D@mn, you’re so clumsy!”
“Look, that was a set of 3 and there are 3 of us. Now there are only 2 of those bowls left so they are mostly useless.”
“Why can’t you be more careful?”
(Scowling face. Cowering inner child.)
The weight of every piece of ceramic adds to my shame as I wrap it in newspaper for disposal. I then desperately search the internet, trying to “make right” and have to talk myself down from paying 3 to 4 times normal retail for a replacement.
This event was just a few weeks ago. The day had started well with my newly formed meditation practice, I’d got the 12 year old to school before the bell (yes, that’s notable), and was just doing a little kitchen cleanup before my MasterClass on Unlocking my Intuition. This was day 2 or 3 and the class had been fabulous. Then CRASH. For a minute or two, I was about to call everything lost. If meditation “works” then why am I still clumsy? It had been a good day, now it’s ruined. That noise probably scared my intuition away for good….
I remembered by PQ training (Positive Intelligence ®), took a deep breath, rubbed two fingers together with such attention as to feel the fingertip ridges, and switched to compassion. I was wounded from the scolding but moving again.
In 2023 I will still drop things. What will be different is that I will plan in advance to show myself the same compassion I show others, right from the start. After all, accidents happen!